


Better This Way

by outoftheashes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Dean, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Episode Tag, Episode: s11e17 Red Meat, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied Bottom Dean, M/M, Pining Dean, Pining Dean Winchester, Possible Suicidal Thoughts, Possibly Unrequited Love, Protective Dean Winchester, Sam was such a freaking badass in this episode okay, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6549544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheashes/pseuds/outoftheashes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam groans and sighs as they get into Baby and Dean's in Big Brother Mode, his whole fucking being aware of every movement, every expression, every noise Sammy makes. </p><p>Warnings: please read the tags. If I forgot something you think should be added feel free to politely let me know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better This Way

**Author's Note:**

> Contains dialogue and other spoilers from the episode Red Meat. If you haven't seen it yet I'd suggest not reading this.

Sam groans and sighs as they get into Baby and Dean's in Big Brother Mode, his whole fucking being aware of every movement, every expression, every noise Sammy makes. Not that he hasn't been before this moment. Sam had nearly died and yet had somehow made it to the Urgent Care Center before completely bleeding out. Sam killed Corbin. Sam saved Dean. 

 _My fault, my fault._ _Never should have left you alone._

It takes all of Dean's willpower to not mother hen Sam's ass. 

"Hey so, what did you do? When you thought I was dead? What did you do?" 

Dean's stomach clenches, turning sickly.  _I was ready to stay and fight the werewolves. Didn't care if I died. Wanted to stay with you. But I left. Chatted with the scary, crazy death machine._

"Thought about redecorating your room, you know. Putting in a Jacuzzi, a nice disco ball, really class up the joint." 

Sam chuckles and fuck if it ain't music to his ears. Dean lives to make Sam laugh, to piss him off, to generally drive him up the wall insane. That's what big brothers are for. 

"Right. Seriously?" 

His little brother stares at him with those puppy dog eyes that almost always break him. He's afraid -not that he'll ever admit it- of what those intelligent eyes might find, the sick and twisted thing that's buried so deep Dean's sure it's made it's way to the marrow in his bones.

_Overdosed. Died. Tried to get you back, trade places with you. Failed. The reaper almost threw me into the empty, but Dr. Kessler was able to resuscitate me._

"What I, uh, I knew you weren't dead."

_Liar, liar, pants on fire. I'm a goddamned liar. Look, Sammy. If you're gone I've got nothin' to live for, little brother._

"Right." 

_Can't you see what you do to me? Are you paying attention, Sammy? You can't be this oblivious, c'mon. Fuckin' love the shit outta you._

"I knew." 

He wants to touch, wants to taste the edge of Sam's tempting fucking mouth. One lick is all he needs, then he'll quit cold turkey-- 

Yeah, right. If he finds out what his little brother tastes like he'll be an addict for life. He already dreams about Sammy kissing the breath out of him, manhandling him and stripping off his clothes with his giant monster hands, fucking him hard and fast against a wall, Dean so gone he can barely hold on for the ride. Would Sam growl in his ear about how tight and warm and wet he was or would he be quiet save for soft, choked moans? 

Dean keeps the thoughts to himself. He can't have what he wants. It's incomplete, half a love story-- 

And it's better this way. 


End file.
